[eff around] when in conflict, SLOW
Read on Substack
July 3, 2023
Lately, everyone seems to be talking about algorithms. Especially on social media, YouTube, and other Internet-related parts of our lives. I asked my designer to prompt this in MidJourney: A beautiful, colorful, and complex algorithm But there is an algorithm for IRL too, ya know. Here are a few that come to mind, as I write this: If you eff around…you’ll subsequently find out lol! (of course). Good seed, good fertilizer, good location, adequate watering, patience…and you have a better chance at good fruit. Tell my son a dad joke…get the silent treatment for two days Follow the recipe book for an incredible cake…and voila, incredible cake. What are the odds?! I also love acronyms. And when I’m in the middle of a conflict with a person, I deploy SLOW. S = STOP. We tend to say and do things we regret when we don’t slow down and put a little distance before our next response. L = LOVE. When you lead with love for the other person, it gives you a better chance at diffusing bombs, and prioritizes the relationship over who’s right or wrong. Love does conquer all. I promise. O = OFFSET. This is easier when you pause, and inject love. When you disagree, find where you do agree. When you are irritated about a quirk they have, think and communicate what are positive traits. When you feel they are wrong…acknowledge where they are right, or have a point. When you approach this from your standpoint…try and approach it from theirs. W = WELD. It’s okay if you disagree, and the current stance doesn’t work. Even two hard metals can be joined together by welding. Consider a different angle, making the pie bigger, or focusing on something else. Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube may own the algorithms on those platforms; but you own the algorithms of your life. What are the positive ones for you? Do more of that. What are the negative ones for you? Time to engineer a different algorithm. Thanks for reading Eff Around & Find Out! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.